Wala lang. I just hate the fact that I'm missing you again. And I'm no longer happy with this because first, I don't even know if you (still) feel the same way or worse, if you (actually) felt the same way. I just wanna get rid of this feeling because everytime it comes, I can't help but feel hurt kasi I don't have even a single clue woth regards to how you feel about me. Secondly, you're no longer calling nor texting, which for me is a sign that you're no longer interested because if you are, you would have been doing so, right? We may be keeping in touch online but for me that isn't enough, lalo na on your part because yun nga, it makes me think that you're no longer interested or your feelings are gone (if ever you REALLY had any). Well perhaps our distance made you realize that you never really loved me at all. Good for you, yet bad for me because I don't understand why I still keep on holding on when a lot of signs have been saying that I should let go. I haven't realized (or should I?!) that I'm not really into you or at least, no longer into you. Haaaay basta! I miss you and I hate you for that!!!
Monday, December 21, 2009
12/09/09
Nothing much. I've just missed him again. I miss talking to him, spending time with himlaughing with him, texting, chatting, pur never-ending kwentos, those stupid little fights, the jokes.. basta! Everything about him...about us! About what and how the two of us used to be. I know it's kinda impossible for that to happen again. It's not that I don't trust him but syempre hindi mo naman maaalis sakin to doubt yung sinasabi nya diba. Ewan ko ba, I know I'm used (already) to not having him around anymore. It's just that at times, I really can't avoid thinking about him and what the two of us have shared together. I don't know what to expect e. I don't know what's gonna happen next. All I know is I still have the feelings. I'm just used to the fact that we're afar from each other. Okay lang sakin if he loses his feelings for me, in case meron nga talaga, basta please Lord help me move on now, please?
12/05/09
There are times when I want to send him a message telling him how much I miss him and I am yearning for his presence but then I'd suddenly realize that I'm not that brave enough to do so.. Haha! I wanna talk to him. I miss everything about him. I hope he feels the same way... Otherwise, I'm dead!! :p
12/03/09
Read my writings (rants) a few months ago. Funny how it seems... I can't believe I've actually been through that. About him.. Hmmm.. So far so good. But I'm not settling on this. I won't stop myself from moving forward because we never know if he's gonna be consistent, considering that there are still a few months left before he comes back home.
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